Getting Back on Track

Weight: 221 lbs. Am Sugar: 161 Weight Gain: (should be loss) 12 lbs.

So as you can tell, I haven't written on this blog in forever. There is a reason. I've been doing terrible. I actually gained 16 pounds but have since lost 4 again. I'm not sure what happened. I think it was a combination of Chris going out of town for 4 weeks (almost in a row), only cooking for Alex, being a single mom, and not really cooking for myself. Also, we've been out out town for about 3 months. All of June, July and August. So, all of this combined equated to me gaining 16 pounds in about 2 months.

During the last couple of weeks, I've tried to change some of my habits. I've stopped driving through (mostly cause we are DIRT poor)(really... I have $9 in my acct right now), I've seen the gym trainer twice (they were free), and gone to the gym about 4 times (isn't great, but is something). Today I took the kids to the mall and walked with them in the double stroller. It about killed me.. That stupid double stroller I have (garage sale $10) is a piece of s**t and not worth the $10 I paid. Not to mention the $35 to fix the back wheel.. But we did it anyway. It was so hard to push and keep it going straight that I found myself almost having a heat stroke. (not joking here). So we stopped for a minute and Alex rode the little car in the middle of the mall while I cooled off.

Tonight for dinner I made ground chicken patties, spinach salad, and steamed veggies. Then afterwards we went for a walk around the neighborhood so that Alex could learn how to ride his bike. He did pretty good once he got some practice. The bike was also from a garage sale for $3 and also a piece. Sometimes it's just better to spend the money and avoid the hassle of someone else's crap.

Tomorrow a friend/client is taking me for lunch at a salad place. I'm going to try to stay away from the soup/bread/dessert sections.

My confession and help is that for the last 2 days I've taken my Dr.'s diet pills that have helped me with craving sweet things. So, I hope I can do it on my own someday. but the week I'm on my period isn't the time to try it on my own..

So, that's it.. My goal is to get this stupid new weight off before we go to New Orleans in Oct. I really want to walk around with Chris and not feel tired. Not to mention all the vacation sex that needs to be had.. A whole week with out our children.. Awwww to be normal again. Can't wait. I've got 7 1/2 weeks to go..

Wow, it's been awhile

Am blood sugar: ?    Current Weight: 215   

So I was asked the other day and then again today "how are things going?" Well, I suppose probably bad, since I don't have a finger poke for this morning, I'm eating chocolate ice cream and had fast food for lunch. I suppose I got busy, lazy, tired and discourage and then stopped caring. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been eating "everything" in sight, but I also haven't been planning our meals or being extra careful.   I also have stopped my meds because they were making me crash and that wasn't good for the kids. I can't be driving or whatever with two small children and keep crashing like I was. It was getting to be too much.  I definitely didn't take them with Chris out of state last week. Too risky.  I have a different med that I'm going to try. I suppose I'll start tomorrow morning and see how it makes me feel. 

For now, that's all I got. Sorry for not keeping up with it. It's just when things turn for the bad, I get depressed and pretty much shut down and just try to make it from one moment to the next. For now, both kids are asleep and I'm going to take a nap as well. 

Getting Better

AM Sugar: 138 (well, not so good)  Current Weight: 209.6  Total Loss: 2

We rode our bike around the neighborhood last night. 3.5 miles. It may not seem too far, but I was pulling the baby and she's heavy.. I felt it, so that's all that matters.  

I have a wedding tomorrow and it should be interesting to keep my sugar from crashing. I usually am in "work mode" and don't pay attention to eating until it's too late.. So, I'm thinking I won't take that medication tomorrow.. Me running around will be enough to keep it down. 

Getting Through the Day

AM Sugar: 117 Current Weight: 210.6 Lbs. Lost: 1  (from my original post of 211.6)

I did workout (Kickboxing at the gym) last night despite my exhaustion.  I don't hurt today like I did the first time. It really helps to have someone to workout with.. 

My goal today is to just get through the day with Alex with as much patience as possible and not eat from stress..  Good luck to me.

Where to Begin???

AM Sugar: 116 Current Weight: 212 Weight Loss: -1   (meaning I GAINED!!!) 

Well, I suppose we could start with me getting depressed last Thursday about not loosing weight fast enough.  That and maybe I'm going to start my period. (haven't yet, so don't know what's up) 

Anyway, I went off the wagon. I started the day with toast, then cereal and so on with the  carbs.. ALL DAY..  I wouldn't say I went completely off the deep end, but I did eat some chocolate and snuck some chocolate as well on a different day. Yesterday I started my day with M&M's.  Not a good breakfast.. (please no comments about this, I know it was bad, I'm not stupid)  But there are times in life when a chemical imbalance takes over all knowledge and reason. I suppose this is where "food addiction" comes in. 

I got a letter in the mail telling me that my thyroid was over active.  Hey maybe this is my problem.. No... I went to the Dr. yesterday and he explained that in fact it should be causing me to loose more weight.. What??? Anyway, so I'm having an ultrasound on it today and for now he just has me on a natural cream to regulate it. He said the "meds" would make me gain. So, we'll see how the cream does over about 6 months or so.. 

Today I went to the dentist and then to visit Chris at work. I was there about 3 minutes and then in mid conversation, I said, "I'm crashing, I'll be right back" rudely leaving the conversation with Chris' co-worker and trying very quickly to make it upstairs to the kitchen. When I got there, I was pretty much going down quickly. His boss was in front of the cups and I had to interrupt him to get me a cup (for juice or something) and could barely speak to have him had me a cup.. It was a little embarrassing. Another co-worker grabbed my arm thinking I was going to fall over. There was no juice, so we grabbed the first thing - root beer.. Not a great choice, but better than fainting. The boss also gave me a granola bar with peanuts which seemed to help.. This whole crashing thing is very tiresome. 

I went back downstairs to be with Chris and recover and began talking to his office mate about the Zone Diet. He is a big time cyclist and very in-tuned with his body and what it needs. It's pretty much about the Glycemic Index and keeping a regular blood sugar all day. From what he was describing a typical dinner was, we aren't that far off.. Protein and veggies. It's just the right ones together. 

Anyway, I'm going to give it a try.. 

So I had a couple of bad days. But the fact remains the same. I still want to be there for my children.. No one can love them like me or their dad..  So, there's always that...  

I also made an appt. to see the eye Dr. My driving vision hasn't been so great.. It's depth problem. It almost always has, that's why I don't read.. I can't see the words from the page.. Very annoying. Anyway, it never hurts to check..  

Kickboxing & Juillian Michaels

AM sugar: 95 (the lowest yet) :) Weight: 208.4   

Total weight loss: 3.2 lbs.

So Last night we (me & friend) went to the kickboxing class at the gym.. For most of the day I wasn't going to go. I had had a terrible day with Alex. He was cranky and tired and wouldn't listen at all.. So, I finally decided to go to the gym just to get away from him for awhile. Boy, was I in for it. The whole class is military style. Example, there's a lot of yelling, getting yelled at, and pushing yourself to the brink of dying!  Not kidding. So, if someone is slacking everyone has to stop the class and do this squat thing that is torture..(for about 3-5 minutes) this happened 3 times last night. It was to the point where I felt like kicking someone ass if they didn't shape up and get it together. You know, like a "sock party" in the army..   Anyway, at one point he got in my face and made me kick higher and hit harder.  Torture!!!  

So after, I giggled my  way to the car, barely seeing straight and finally made it home to then bounce a cranky baby til 1 am.. (taking turns with Chris) I was sooo sore and then to hold her for hours was yet more torture. 

So if I didn't have enough last night, I then did this video this morning by Jillian Michaels. 30 day shred.. UGH!!!  Let's just say, I can hardly walk.. I did however make two big salads and took one to my friend to help keep her motivated. One day at a time. Right?  

Nothing special

Am Sugar: 116     Weight: 208.6  Total Loss: 3

I'm home with Alex today and I'm hoping he doesn't drive me crazy. That may sound strange to some, but he's very demanding and pretty much everything has to go his way. He doesn't drive me to drink, he drives me to eat chocolate.  :) 

Our plan is to make big salads, go pick up Chris for lunch and eat at the park. Then tonight me and my friend are suppose to work out at the gym. Hopefully nothing gets in the way. 

The wheel on my double stroller is broken (cause I got it for $10) but anyway, I ordered the parts and they were so cheap, they are free. So when I  get that and Chris fixes it, I can go walk the mall with both kids by myself at any time. One time I tried putting Lauren in the front pack and pushing Alex and boy was that hard.  We had to switch off with the baby and didn't make it as far. 

Walking

AM sugar: 115    Weight: 209    Weight Loss: 2.6

I really didn't want to, but I walked this morning. My only saving grace was that I finally found my iPod in the car and it still had juice. Although the left side isn't working. 

I had an all time personal record at the Bluffs this morning. 40 minutes and 3 miles. It usually takes me 60 minutes to do 3 miles. Yeah for me. But as I write this my  c-section is hurting. I don't usually notice it until I do something strenuous. But I'm glad I still did it. I was melting!!!  

I spoke to a man on the walk and he was encouraging me to finish and keep up the good work. My response was, "well, I have diabetes and I need to  be around to raise these kids." (Lauren was in the stroller sleeping). You would have thought I kicked him in the stomach or told him I had cancer. (which was touching)  I suppose having diabetes is much more serious for some people. That's part of my problem. It's never been serious enough for me. So, I'm working on that one day at a time. 

Crashing

Am blood sugar: 121   Weight: 209.4 Weight Loss: Same

Well, I've been doing pretty good for the last couple of days. I've been eating salads, meat and veggies for lunch and dinner.  However, I guess I did a little too good today. I had a salad for lunch that was all protein and no carbs. Sounds perfect, but actually I went a little too low. For me (usually in the 200's) 78 is pretty  low. Thank goodness Chris was here. I have a tendency to eat too much sugar when I crash and then peak too high. But he spoke calmly to me and told me to just drink a small amount of juice and rest. When I crash, I get very disorientated and panic.  I feel better now.  I guess I'm going to have to be more careful. Maybe I should of had a couple of crackers with my salad.. 

Day Two

AM blood sugar: 131   Weight: 209.6    Weight Loss: 2 lbs.

Today I had a friend over to talk about photography stuff.. She brought her daughter and we thought her and Alex would play, but they spent most of the time fighting.. After they ate, they did better. My point is that it was harder to concentrate on eating right and drinking water. I'm about 4 bottles behind. The reality is that EVERYDAY will be hectic  no matter what's  going on. I have 2 kids and my own business. There will always be something to keep me from focusing. 

We did ride our bikes last night and it was very hard. As it turns out, it was hard because my tires on the baby trailer were flat..  I was in soooo much pain when I came home.  I'm feeling better today. I think it was the stretching and water intake. 

Tonight if I crave something, I'm going to have a protein shake and some nuts. 

For breakfast I had eggs and bacon. I also boiled a bunch of eggs for my salad later. I made a protein filled salad for me and my friend.  Lettuce, eggs, pine nuts, olives, turkey, blue cheese and oil & vinegar dressing. It was yummy.

Dinner will be beef low mein with veggies (for me) and rice for Chris (if he wants it). 

The Beginning:

My name is Lacey Newkirk.  I am married with two  beautiful children, Alex (2 years) and Lauren (11 weeks).    

I have type 2 diabetes. That's what this blog will be about. 

I was diagnosed about 5 years ago and have been avoiding the issue as much as I could. I go through cycles of trying to manage it and trying to not eat sugar and trying to exercise, but always fail to some extent. So, I'm going to blog or confess and try to gain some accountability. Let's hope it works. 

I weigh 211.6 today.  I wear a size 18-20 and am 5 foot 3 inches or so. My eyesight is failing, everything is foggy and  my feet are tingly.  I fear I am on the way to loosing my feat and or dying. I have spouts of depression which contributes to a multiple of problems and just makes the problems I already have worse. 

Oh, I forgot.. I'm only 33 years old.  

These symptoms are not good for someone who is only 33. 

For now, I'll start by saying I went to the Dr. yesterday and he gave me some supplements to help with energy,  depression, sleep and cravings.  Now on day two of these, I do actually feel better.  I walked a mile today, washed the car, went to the bank, and went grocery shopping. I bought all the things he wants me to  eat and am feeling pretty good about the way the day has gone so far. My family has plans to bike the bike trail tonight with some friends who are also trying to loose weight.  It should be fun. 

I look at my 11 week old daughter and cry knowing that if I don't do something, I won't be at her wedding. I won't be able to be there for her like my mom has been there for me. 

I look at my 2 year old son and think about the look that will be in his eyes the first time he sees his first child.  I want to be there for those things. 

As I write this, I cry,  hoping and praying that I can FINALLY make a change in my life.